I Totally Need A LIfe!

So I'm on Facebook looking at the pics of my friends. Some have children, some don't. They are all having a better life than me. They go to parties, they socialize with friends, they have each other over for dinner... What am I doing? I'm looking at pics on facebook. I'm not the best person in the world to get to know. I'm not good at smalltalk and I hate being phony. Maybe that's why I don't have dinner invites. People stopped inviting me to parties. I always had some reason not to go. Kids.

Life is such a big effort for me. I stress over every decision. I forget what I came upstairs for. My kids get on my nerves most of the time. I stopped enjoying sex with my husband. I guess I must be depressed but what else is new? Why am I depressed now? What sparked it? Was it my daughter's current diagnosis with ADHD? Was it the realization that I probably have it too? Was it the thought that everything has to be difficult for me and life just can't be easy for once?

But that statement isn't really accurate. My life can't always be hard. Sure I have 3 kids that are lousy eatters, one has ADHD, the other one probably has it too. My son, the youngest doesn't sleep thru the night at 10 months old and hates eatting anything. My husband refuses to agree with me on anything and loathes consistency of any kind. I stay home stuck in the house with no car trying to come up with ways to pass the time. To say that I'm bored would be an understatement. I'm isolated and feel like I'm going crazy! Could it just be the weather?

But the real question is how do I get out of it? I want to go back to work but there are complications there too. I want to get my youngest daughter into daycare but even if we could afford it the spots are scarce. I'm starting to see a therapist who I hope can help. But I really do need a life.