Hospital Hijinks!

It all started on a thursday night after my family and I dined out at our local Jack Astors. Shortly thereafter I had abdominal pains and assumed it was indigestion after having eaten a huge meal. I would soon discover that it was going to be much more. We went to Canadian Tire to purchase a sports rack for the top of our car that we would be needing for our upcoming trip to Florida. The pain was getting worse and I ended up seeking out the automotive desk to retrieve the key needed to gain entry into the washroom. Shortly after going into said bathroom we see an encore of my salmon salad I ate at Jack Astors; not as good this time around, trust me.

The pain isn't subsiding like I'd hoped and I end up running to the front door of my house from the car to rush to the bathroom again. I puke quite a few times during the next couple of hours before deciding to make a go of it and head to the hospital. After waiting for my mother to show up I head to the emerge, bowl in hand, puking all the way. It's just saliva at this point, it really hurts trying to puke up saliva. My eyes ache. I'm thinking food poisoning at this point but the pain in my right side is giving me doubts. After a slight wait I'm herded into a curtained off 'room' amongst many others. I wait, I get asked the same questions over and over again. Have samples taken from me. The nurses feel pity for me after a couple of hours of retching and rocking and dope me up full of pain killers and gravol. I sleep for a bit, maybe an hour. the doctor finally makes an appearance to poke and prod at me. Tells me I need an ultrasound and come back in the morning, we think its gallstones. Great, gallstones I think to myself. Maybe I'll get to lose some weight!

I go home and feed my baby once. He sleeps thru the night for the first time. Thank you meds! I get some sleep at least. We return to the hospital in the morning for my 10am ultrasound. iIm feeling a lot better due to lack of vomitting. The pain in my side is more pronounced. We wait 2 hours after the ultrasound to learn that there are no signs of gallstones. I was about to be sent home when my darling husband reminds the doctor that I still have pain in my right side. I get more poking and proding. Now we need a CT scan. That'll take longer. Like 5 hours longer. I feed the kidlet and send hubby home. No way he can stay with 2 little ones. I'm alone in the emergency department waiting for my scan. I get evicted from my plush 4 star accommodation in the curtained cubby and am shown a nice uncomfortable guerney in the hallway of the ED. I manage to fall asleep and someone at some point feels pity and throws a blanket on me. Someone comes around every so often and gives me some yummy 'juice' I need to drink for my CT scan. I down it greedily because it's the only stuff I've had to consume since the night before.

A chick comes to collect me around 5pm for the CT scan. She'd be pretty if not for the distracting bull-ring she has thru her nose. She should lose it, pronto. The scan itself was only mildly dehumanizing. There's this large apparatus with a hole in the middle with a spinning ring. when it slows down and stops I picture myself jumping up and running away. It looked like something outta 'Stargate'. Like if I entered into it I'd disappear into an alternate universe. I wished my husband had been with me. But I had to pretty much do the whole thing alone. The ring slows down and a voice tells me to take a deep breath and hold it. I then move into the ring lying on a sliding platform. I'm a little apprehensive at the thought of having radiation shooting thru me. Its very disconcerting. I feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcist when she's getting all of the testing done. Moments later it's all over and I have to wait to be returned to my spot along the wall.

Back at my spot in the hall I'm awake now and cant help but listen in to the cubbies around me. the ED isn't exactly the best place you want to be sharing private medical information. Just up from me we have hurling girl, well she's not exactly a girl but the title sounded better than hurling old lady. Then there are the clueless sisters who have no idea what is going on and loudly discuss parking, hospital geography, work schedules and panic. They help me keep track of time since I have no clock within view. Then there's the farty fogey right across from me. He's not the patient, he's the patient's spouse! He farts whenever the mood strikes. Seriously uncool. The nurses dont have much to do here in the ED. Unless its really busy, they sit around and shoot the shit about their daily lives. I hear them make plans for the long weekend. They take turns going back and forth to the vending machine fetching snacks for one another. Sweet gig.

About an hour later I'm finally told that I have appendicitis. The doctor approaches me, his cell goes off, he takes the call! Afterwards he walks off in the opposite direction! Brutal! Then he walks into someone else's cubicle! WTF! When he comes out he again heads into the wrong direction. I feel anger just about to broil under my lid. He stops, heads back to me to finally tell me that it's appendicitis and he will alert the surgical staff. I think I'm about to get some medical attention at last.

I'm occassionally reminded of my vulnerability when some random person walks by and sees me lying in the ED hallway. It works wonders for the self-esteem. However, its a med student who takes pity on me and insists on examining me in a curtained cubby. He's the first to show me any real dignity and actually ends up displacing someone else to get me the cubby. She goes home shortly afterwards anyway so I didn't feel too badly about it. Things are looking up! I'm getting somewhere in the world. The med student performs his assessment. Asks me the same questions and tells me he has to confirm the CT scan results. I roll my eyes. God only knows how long this will take.

While I'm waiting I get a hospital gown and finally feel like a real patient. Time passes and he comes back to confirm what the first doctor told me. It's appendicitis and they need to operate. But, he has to confirm it with his boss. My mind almost snaps in two at this point! Some time later the med student comes back with his resident and the resident performs the same exam, asks the same questions. Tells me he needs to check the CT scan results. It's deja vu all over again! Maybe I did step into that alternate universe after all. These people are nuts! The resident returns to tell me that it is appendicitis and I will require surgery. But first, you guessed it, he needs to check with his boss! I'm really going brain dead after all of this BS. What the hell is wrong with this picture that a person with a potentially fatal condition has to wait around for so long; waiting for not one but 4 different doctors to tell her the same thing!

The resident returns some time later with his boss, the surgeon on duty at the time. who performs the same exam and asks the same questions. Tells me he has to check the CT scan results. I would be laughing if it weren't so damn stupid. So finally after HE says so I am admitted to the hospital, at around 7ish on Friday night. He tells me that the surgery will be performed within 12 hours. I know for certain it should be done within 8 but I say nothing. He says they are backed up and there are 4 other surgeries before mine.

Oddly enough I'm not worried about the appendix bursting while I'm waiting. I should have been but I had a strange feeling that everything was going to be okay. They wheel me up to my room. I'm on the Orthopaedic floor. Ortho, not General. There is no room for me on the General floor and I have to share a room with a lady who received a total knee replacement. There is no phone or tv hooked up. No one gives me instruction on how to arrange for hook up. I sleep while I can. Nurses are coming in to check my vitals. I have to wake up every so often to pump milk. The milk is blue from all of the meds! My breasts feel like they are going to burst. A nurse brings me a manual pump and I manage to put it together, but have no idea how to use it. The nurse stumbles upon it and shows me how, the male nurse. Time goes by, it's morning. I still haven't eaten and I'm groggy from the meds and lack of food. But I'm pretty sure it says 8am when I'm told that the OR is ready for me. Almost 36 hours after my initial attack of pain. I get down to the OR around 8:30ish. Over 13 hours after being admitted and told i'd be operated on within 12. Figures. They are so damn lucky my appendix didn't burst!

I finally get to eat something saturday evening. It's hospital food, I'm not amused. The next day hubby comes by in the morning and practically drags a surgeon out of the OR to release me. He writes me up a prescription and signs the papers and I'm good to go home. Just like that. I really would have stayed but my babies needed me. I didnt want my youngest getting used to drinking from a bottle and reject me! That would've been the icing on the cake i think.

A week later and everything is pretty much back to normal. It's almost like it never happened. I get to add some more scars to my collection. My hand still hurts from where they put in the IV. I hate IV's. I have small veins in my hands so the nurses always have a hard time with them. They hurt like a sonofabitch too. This whole ordeal has been a lesson in humility and a huge reality check of the condition of our healthcare system. Yeah, it may be free but at what real cost? I can understand why some people would be willing to pay for better treatment.

We need to start charging a user fee to eliminate all of the assholes that come in with non-emergent conditions! I wanted to kick the idiot next to me in the ED eatting potato chips while he was waiting. If you can eat chips then you don't need to be in emergency! Nurses and doctors are leaving the province, not to mention the country, for better jobs. Emergency departments are closing in rural areas of the province. A lot of people have to go to the emerge only because they don't have family doctors. Where is this all heading? I'd hate to find out. We need to voice our concerns and let the politicians know that our healthcare system is failing us big time. Something needs to be done before its too late.